Divorce and its effects
There is irrefutable evidence that divorce often has negative effects on children of all ages. For this and other reasons, many parents attempt to stay together. However, living in an unstable and unhappy home may have even worse consequences for children. The good news is that many children learn to adjust to life after divorce, but parents need to work together to make this happen.
Try not to go into the dilemma of divorce expecting the children to have a negative reaction. However, it doesn’t hurt to plan for it. Psychologists say the effects of divorce may be physical, emotional, and educational. If the physical effects surprise you, note that children with divorced parents reportedly have higher rates of speech impediments, headaches, asthma, and personal injury, as well as learning disabilities.
Lessening Divorce's Negative Aspects on Children
Talking to the Children
Parents often wait until one of them is moving out to tell the children the marriage is over. However, before you speak to a family law attorney about divorce, it is best to speak with the kids first. How you approach your children should depend on their age group and maturity. If your kids fall into separate age ranges, consider speaking to them separately.
Even if fighting was common before, now is the time to calm things down. If mom or dad moves out on bad terms or when the relationship is tense, then it can cause the children anxiety over whether or not they will still have a relationship with that parent. As difficult as it may be, try to ensure the children have a good last impression of the relationship, regardless of the past.
Learn to Coordinate
Agreeing on the house rules is one of the best ways that parents can help to maintain stability after divorce. Parents should also coordinate for activities, so there are instances when both parents are present to show support. If the children are close with both parents, you don’t want to cause them pain over trying to decide who to invite, or worse, choosing not to share important events at all.